My Fathers Will
by kato-yue
Summary: The Namikaze Series, Part One ... But hell the same man, I admired for years in a very personal way, had trouble and inner discussions with in my head! I don't talk with the dead , is my father! Sounds like a bad movie.


**Title:** _My Fathers Will_

**Warning:** _Spoiler! For the name of Narutos father.._.

**Author Notes:** _It was a poem at first, but to short. So I made a fanfiction out of it. When you're reading this text, please remember that my mother language isn't English. It's German. Surely I will try my best to don't make any mistakes, but I know, I will make some._

_Thank you_

* * *

It's strange. It's night and I can't not sleep. Normally I'm not a night person, but since a few days something is keeping me awake. This so called 'something' could e anything. I have enough trouble which could keep me awake for the rest of my life, but normally I won't let these things bother me.

I could spend a lifetime thinking why my best friend has left me to join a criminal. But actually I know the answer for this question. Sasuke left to to defeat and kill is brother. A certain brother, who is seeking me. Ironic, isn't it?

I know.

Someone other would be angry, perhaps. Someone other would say, my best friend could have stayed until Itachi would come for my. But I know Sasuke wants to do it in his own way. Please don't misunderstand me. I know this. I know what Sasuke wants ... I think. But I don't understand.

And pretending I do won't make it better. Or would bring him back.

No. I will chase after Sasuke another time. The last meeting was depressing, so to say.

I met him.

Yes, it's a success. Somehow I didn't believe in it.

Or perhaps I had faith, but I clearly wouldn't have been surprised, if the mission went wrong. We could have been killed. In a second if Orochimaru hadn't stopped Sasuke. It will be always a mystery which jutsu he wanted to used to get rid of me (or perhaps even all of us, I'm not quite sure).

But it doesn't matter right now.

I don't want to think about Sasuke right now. Soon I will do it again, so for once I could change the topic of my inner thoughts.

The real reason I'm so riled up tonight.

Because it's ... a other feeling is keeping me awake, then the desire to get Sasuke back to Konoha. I can't say, what this feeling is, I was never able to. Yeah. It maybe sound strange, but I recognized the feeling, if I don't know how to call it.

Must be a family thing.

Crap. I don't now much about families.

Perhaps that's why I'm failing to understand Sasuke.

I never had one. The family concept is something I don't fully understand. I learned much from Team 7, Iruka, Ero-sennin and even some of Sais books could teach me something new. But it's still unfamiliar to me. I don't know what to do with it.

At least ... I know **who** my family is.

That's important. I wanted to now my hole life, who my family is (or better: was. I never expected that somebody except me to be alive). Now I finally know.

To be honest, I've no idea, who my mother is. I know her name, that's all.

Even the country she came from don't exist anymore. It was annihilated in the last war and vanished. If you're searching in old library books who could find perhaps a map which is old enough to list it. But every other thing – beside my last name, I learned – is gone.

So my mother ... tss, I don't know.

There aren't even any pictures of her. I have now face which could fulfil the image of a mother. Mothers are cooking, right? Making dishes, washing clothes and are woman. Which means they love their kids annoy them at the same time.

Says Shikamaru.

But it's not my mother I'm normally keep thinking on.

It's my father.

Yes. Wooohoo! Big surprise, ne?

I say: it is.

My father, the hero of the village. That's make my head spinning in circles.

Not because I'm so proud of him.

Hell, yes. A bit I'm.

But I want to be become Hokage, so think it's my duty to protect the village. I've expected no less of the 4-th Hokage to die for his people, protecting them. But hell ... the same man, I admired for years in a very personal way, had trouble and inner discussions with (in my head! I don't talk with the dead), is my father?!

Sounds like a bad movie.

Really.

The first time you think: Woha? Stop! That guy? Never ever.

And the more often you hear it, the more you want to scream: THIS CAN NOT BE REAL!

You don't know, how often I wished to now where this fucking remote button for my life was hiding. Seriously. I would push it without a second thought. But since the people always I'm not thinking very often anyway ... what would it mean?

It wouldn't change the fact that my father ... please pay attention ... my father is Namikaze Minato.

Namikaze Minato.

Repeat in your mind, it helps.

Namikaze Minato.

I can't still fully believe it.

The name alone sounds so ... strong and powerful. Let alone serious.

Nothing like my Uzumaki Naruto.

Hell, hell, hell.

I'm ready to drown myself.

Please understand my problem. At first the Forth was a hero for me. Like for everybody else. Because he was the hero village. I didn't knew what it meant at this point, but it sounded good. He became my idol. I wanted to be like him. Wanted to be famous and remembered like him, because nobody seemed to remember me. In some point the Forth helped me a lot. He was always there. Hanging over my head, listing to me. He was there for me, when nobody else was.

Than I learned, who I was.

I didn't now what to think.

I was the person who killed the Forth. I killed my hero.

Because I was the Kyuubi. The monster. The fox demon.

It took a very long while until I could look in his eyes again. At first, I was angry. Why me?, I wanted to know. But I forgot my anger really fast, when I realized the Forth perhaps entrusted me the fox demon. It was a nicer thought than he had no other choice.

But in the long time I never could get lost of the feeling that I killed my hero.

I never wanted to die someone for me again. Rather I would leave first. That meant I had to be the first man in the line. The strongest.

Then the Forth taught me another lesson. I couldn't use the title of the Hokage to hide my fear. I would disgrace every Hokage before me. So I had to go on. After two long years I finally came to peace with my secret imagination teacher and hero, who reminded me every day and every second in my life, who I was and what I was doing.

I was Uzumaki Naruto, the Kyuubi vessel.

I was protecting the village in a very important way.

That was okay. I finally could move on to solve the other problems in my life, now when my identity crises was over.

But then ...

Then somebody had to tell me who my parents were. I always thought they died in the battle with fox, in wasn't something uncommon. Many kids around here are orphans. So ... that part was true.

My father died in battle, to be exact of chakra exhaustion, because he had to live long enough to seal the demon into my belly. After that he died. Ero-sennin said there was no way to save him. And there was no way to save my mother either, he said. She was a ninja and a old wound damaged her womb. It was a miracle that she was even pregnant with me. Let alone I was born healthy.

Now I know who my parents are and how they died.

But from their lives I never will know much. Simple because my mothers country is gone and only a legend now and my father was the Hokage. Means everything what concerns his case, name or something else like this is ... top secret. Even if I will become Hokage, I will never be allowed to read his files.

Crap.

So what I have?

A demon to keep inside myself, a legacy to hold on, a village to protect ... quite something, ne?

* * *

_I hoped you liked it. The original poem was darker, with a little more depressing mode. It won't be the last OneShot. It's the first part of the Namikaze series. Now are actually missing 'The World is Cruel, my son', 'The Love of a Dead Woman' and 'Eternal'. Depending how I like it the next three OneShot 's will be like this or a short excerpt of a story._

_Please review if you read and/or favourite this story. It would help me, especially because English isn't my first language._

_For interested people: I'm searching for a better reader._

_Thank you_

_Y. Kato_


End file.
